I don’t think I’ve ever felt this disconnected from my genealogy research in the ten years since I started this blog. The death of my father on August 20, coupled with the overwhelming amount of work I’m responsible for as his executor and the need to run my organizing business (I’m so grateful for my amazing employees!), means that family history research fell to the bottom of my priority list.
But I really miss doing research. I miss feeling connected to my ancestors. And I miss feeling connected to my readers. So today I’m figuring out a gentle plan to get back into the swing of it.
Here’s my guiding principle: Baby steps. I’m creating a tiny task list of things I can do to dip my toe back into my genealogy pool without feeling overwhelmed or like it’s too time-consuming to start. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far. I’ve purposely kept the list short so it won’t feel overwhelming, but I give myself permission to add to it whenever I want:
- Process one document in my backlog
- Process one document related to my father’s passing (so far all I’ve put into my database was his death certificate, which was a little painful)
- Pick one ancestor in my database and see what documents I’m missing
- Search for one document from that missing documents list
- Send 15 minutes inventorying the family archive of objects from my father and aunt (who moved into a nursing home)
In the last month, I’ve just been stymied by the thought, “I need to do some genealogy research.” Now, with this list, I feel like I can actually take action when I have that thought.
This feels like huge progress and I’ll post an update about whether it’s working. Wish me luck.
If you’ve been in this position, I would certainly be interested learning how you got back on the saddle with your research!
So sorry to read about your dad’s passing. I am familiar with what you are going through, having lost my dad in 2012 and my mom in 2018. You are wise to take care of yourself at this time and cut back a bit where you can. Eventually, the energy will return, and you may find — as I did — that researching and writing about your ancestors/parents may provide the necessary healing balm. Sending well wishes your way.
Thanks so much, Molly. I love the message of family history research being a healing balm.
I think you have a good approach. Eventually you’ll be working one of those items that tickles your interest. Or you’ll have processed enough of your father’s items that it will be refreshing to go back to your usual research.
I think you’re right, Marian. Taking these tiny steps on a daily basis (almost daily, anyway), is starting to rekindle the interest!
Janine – I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate as my mother passed in December 2021. I was swamped settling her affairs through about the end of March. Then without all those tasks I slipped into a state of depression and had no desire to connect with anyone living or dead. I am just now getting my emotions back to normal and I too look forward to baby stepping my way back into research. Thanks for your post. Nice knowing I am not the only one. Hugs!
Lynn, please accept my sympathies on your mother’s passing. I’m so sorry to hear it led to depression and am glad that things are getting back to normal. Hugs right back to you.
I am sorry to hear about your father’s passing, and send my condolences to you and your family.
After a terrible year personally I find myself in a similar position to you currently, feeling disconnected from my research. I am getting back into it by approaching it fresh as if I was a beginner again. I have chosen one line to start with and will complete all the beginner steps again beginning with a pedigree chart, then taking each person one by one and collating the information & documents I have and filing them both electronically and in hard copy, noting the information gaps and completing a research plan. I am also planning to spend 1 hour a week on DNA matches for that side of the family only, and about 30 minutes a week to clear my downloads. Initially I don’t plan to actually do any research, but get myself in a position where it doesn’t feel so overwhelming.
Good luck with your plan. Take care of yourself at this time as well.
Thank you, Missy. I think you have an excellent plan. Getting back to basics and getting your ducks in an order can be soothing activities and then you’ll be all set to do the research when you’re ready. Best of luck with it!
Janine, so sorry about your father’s passing. It’s never easy to lose a parent, no matter how old we get. Please do take care of yourself…and when you have time and energy, the baby steps you outlined are a good way to ease back into genealogy.
Thanks so much, Marian.
I’m very sorry for your loss Janine. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on mindfully reopening family research while grieving. (I took a decade to process the loss of my father when he died in 1989. I am currently preparing to act on behalf of my mother as her named executor. )
Small tasks that spark curiosity are ideal. Most folks are in genealogy for the joy of discovery or insight. Feel free to seek only joy in the days and weeks ahead. Ask yourself: “What do I most want to do next?” and go ahead and do only that. Save the get-er-done projects for when your space and capacity expands. Remember anything you do is a step forward.
That’s terrific advice. There is so much enjoyment to be found in genealogy research and now is the time in my life to focus on the fun stuff. (Luckily for me, organizing is fun.) I appreciate your comment!!